went a little too far with the <bleep>…

1:00 AM. my head is filled with thoughts of love and happiness and how they’ve eluded me this final time as i drive home from seeing bobbi. i think about the past month, the past 6 months, and everything that has happened. the trip to holland. rediscovering bobbi and feelings thought to be lost long […]

some of you have been getting emails from me lately. like tonight. read them carefully.

she doesn’t care..
my life is nothing like the lives of those on TV. when i have problems, no one comes running, worried. no one cries. no one cares. they only care when it’s convenient for them. and i don’t blame them. how can i expect anyone to care? i’m not worth it. better to just […]

i had to delete a chat floris posted, by request, more or less just to keep the level of shit down. in retrospect it probably will not make much difference, but regardless, i made the effort.
on an unrelated note, i am so filled with rage right now i think i chipped a tooth. i am […]

well let’s see… over the past week or two, a lot of stuff has happened… christine was out all last week for surgery/recovery, so i was sorta running the library, that by itself was crazy but i also had this offer from john on my mind.. i want to take it, but i am also […]

so one day, i just decided to do it. i picked up a used gun from the net, it was easier than you might think. i couldn’t quite decide when though. i thought the shock of me running through the house and the POW was appealing but so was imagining them finding the body, days […]