Dad called this morning and said he was diagnosed with severe chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.
I’m sad for him. I’m angry at him. I’m angry at myself.
I’m sad for him because he’s staring death right in the face. I don’t believe in an afterlife. When he’s gone, he’s gone forever.
I’m angry at him because this is […]

I was commanded to update my blog, so here’s an update.

Things with Jenn are still going very well. She’s fantastic. My only worries at this point are that she’s going to snap out of it soon and realize she can do way better than me, and her inevitable departure for graduate school in another state.
I […]

Everyday Normal Guy Rap Song on FunnyOrDie.com

As promised, here’s a list of shirts I’ve bought in the past few months:
goodbye old friend
Futureshock
Chaos came from the Ocean
Seed
Rescue
Memoirs
statueMan
Forbidden Platypus
An Elephant Never Forgets… To Kill!
Bubble Bobble
Robot Attack
Revelations
Turttle
Freak
Octophant
TV Attack
Gemini
Glory
Memento Mori
White Bread
Samurai Shadows
FrequenCity
Dividend
London
Past is Prologue
Waterfall
Octopus
Friendly Robot
Behold Modern Beauty
Nuclear Moonlight
Once Upon A War
Wingtips
Liberty Nor Safety
Alexander Robotnik
Descent
Acadiana Self Reliance
The Beauty of Entropy
Evolution
Indeed

So.
It’s been 3 months since we last spoke. How are things?
The fate of this website has been rolling around in my head for those 3 months. Probably longer. Certain things needed to be shifted into focus, some needed to be downplayed. Still others needed to be created. I’ve addressed some of those things.
The changes are […]

tonight i had an awful nightmare. it’s been a while - a few months - since i had one that was so bad, i was afraid to go back to sleep.
i think it’s funny that so many people can do so many awful things and it just rolls right off of them, and no one […]

Let it be known: starting tomorrow, I am taking every Friday off for the rest of the year.
That is all.

my godmother died this weekend.
we used to be very close. most of my earliest memories are of her and her house. she had embroidered pillows on her couch. her pantry was always full of peaches, and she loved fresca. she had cherry tomato plants in her back yard, and i used to eat them by […]

I’m proud of myself today. I’ve been lamenting the fact that my bank doesn’t offer a service like Bank of America’s Keep the Change program. For those that don’t want to read, they will automatically round up your check card transactions and deposit the change into your savings account.
Today, at lunch, I realized that I […]

i appreciate the irony in that fact that i sit in bed practically every night and play solitaire on my phone, and it amuses me.

For those that haven’t been paying attention, I’m in quite a mess here. I’m languishing in an existential funk that I haven’t been able to shrug off or resolve. Recent events […]

jesus:

Date
Name
Category
Account
Amount

7/2/2007
LOS AMIGOS MEXICAN PORTSMOUTH
Food / Alcohol
Navy Federal Checking
-20

7/2/2007
GOLDEN WOK VIRGINIA BEAC
Food / Alcohol
Navy Federal Checking
-16

7/2/2007
7-ELEVEN 16613 VIRGINIA BEAC
Food / Alcohol
Navy Federal Checking
-10.62

7/3/2007
WENDYS #0478 VIRGINIA BEAC
Food / Alcohol
Navy Federal Checking
-7.6

7/5/2007
AJ GATORS SPORTS B VIRGINIA BE
Food / Alcohol
Navy Federal Checking
-32

7/5/2007
KELLYS PEMBROKE VIRGINIA BEAC
Food / Alcohol
Navy Federal Checking
-26

7/5/2007
BOSTON MARKET #116 VIRGINIA BE
Food / Alcohol
Navy Federal Checking
-13.79

7/5/2007
WENDYS #0478 VIRGINIA […]

This cat can predict death:

I’m literally terrified by this. Cats have always had an air of mystery and superiority about them, but this article cements in my mind that they’re higher than humans on the food chain. We’re all subjugated to them, and we don’t even realize it.
Remember that episode of Tales From The Darkside, […]

Do you think it’s possible to completely change who you are?

Wow:

Google Analytics announced today a major upgrade to their service. I’ve been using their tracking services on this site for a number of years, so I logged in to see if I was privy to any of the new features.
I was not. But I was bored. So I looked through my popular search engine terms, […]

70*7 is fucking awesome.
Elephant
Boston
Awesome quality shirts, unique designs and limited runs so you don’t run into a thousand other people wearing your shirt when you’re out, and best of all, the proceeds go to charity:

HOW IT WORKS:
In the case of a limited edition shirt, each artist donates a shirt design to be used in a […]

I just bought this:

Awesome.
Not much else to report.

In my routine insomnia last night, I happened upon this spectacular commercial:

Hilarious.

[22:23] jrisadork: i was just going through an old to-do list
[22:24] jrisadork: and one of the items was “date a girl who owns a domain name”

I’ve been quite ponderous this weekend.
I’ve been imagining my life in a very Spore-like manner: varying in scale from the single-celled organism to the entire universe. I thought about problems […]

A few tech-related tidbits:

First: I nearly destroyed my spiffy new 22" widescreen LCD last a week or two ago. I became obsessed with the idea that mounting it on the wall above my desk was an awesome idea. I picked up an overpriced wall-mount kit at Best Buy and began pestering my father to come [...]

I spend a lot of time thinking about escaping.
That's not to say that there's really anything to escape from; I realize that I'm relatively well off. The things that make existence unbearable for me are entirely internal. I understand that. I understand that I could fix the majority of those things if I was properly [...]

When Joanna and I went to see George Carlin on Sunday, I was amazed by his opening act. His name was Vance Gilbert.

Wikipedia has this to say about him:

Vance Gilbert (born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) is an American folk singer/songwriter. He started out as a jazz singer, then switched to folk music, performing on the open [...]

Attention
Jady "Cleveland Rocks!" BaumgardnerKelly "Dat shit is mines!" BaumgardnerMatt "Obama '08" BurchfieldFloris "Barnyard Offender" LeendersAllison "Pinetree" Campbell
 

I will soon be among your fevered ranks. Post friend codes here.
Now I just need to find the antennas for my wireless router...

Semi-regular readers, friends and family will not be shocked by this statement: I buy a lot of shirts, almost exclusively from small, online shops.
I have yet to have a bad experience in these dealings. I've had one shirt (out of about a hundred, which is not a bad ratio at all) come in a size [...]

I feel the need to post without having anything to post about.
I'm so frustrated with the state of things. I need something to change.
Perhaps you know the feeling? It's like the movie Groundhog Day. Even saying that evokes the feeling of repetition, because I've said it before.
My energy level is at an all-time low. I'm [...]

In which, JR ponders the dichotomy between a modern human being's sense of entitlement and the more basic and primal survival instinct that all sentient beings possess.

Lately, I've noticed that I view a lot of the situations I find myself in, both the mundane and the extraordinary, from two points of view.
The first is [...]

In which, JR describes the technology-related things infesting his mind as of late.

The blogosphere (did I really just use that word?) is all abuzz and atwitter about the iPhone. I must say, I was drooling when I saw the MacWorld Expo liveblogging going on yesterday at engadget. I've been watching the world of PDA phones [...]

How I Would Save the World
by JR Smith

Seriously. It's the only way.

I feel like I am going to implode. I am not fit for this world.
It's an odd thing to observe, even though I'm typically my one and only observer. A little thing trips me up, then I handle it incorrectly, and my confidence is shot to hell for the next week. My chest hurts, I [...]

Thoughts for 2007:

If at all possible, recede from society even further. Spend more time reading and learning.
Buy a new car. The old Camry has had a good run.
Buy more watches, shoes and pants.
Buy new bedroom furniture.
Buy a bigger, more complicated phone. Preferably a PDA.
Work more, then work less.
Buy a nintendo wii.
Listen to more music.
Watch more [...]

You could take my hand, and I could take the lead.
Christmas is coming. In these few days leading up to that disgraced holiday, I am beset by memories that once warmed my heart, but now fill me with sorrow and anger:
Grandma getting flustered by all the activity. Grandma crying because everyone chipped in and gave [...]

Things that I think about on a daily basis:
stabbing myself in the stomach repeatedly. our lord and savior, the dear sweet baby jesus christ (since my alarm is set to an evangelical radio station). the lack of decoration in my home. i should buy new socks. i should finish reading [whatever book]. i'm fat. i [...]

People just take, and take, and take. I have filled my life -- no, I've let my life be filled with people who only think about themselves.
The only things worth thinking about are the things that affect you.
The only things worth doing are the things that benefit you.
The only things worth saying are the [...]

My brain is heavy and lazing about in a dense fog. I feel like I'm getting sick. Last night, I woke up many, many times. I tossed and turned, I kicked my pillows to the four corners of the earth, I tied my comforter around myself in a double overhand knot.
I woke up at 7:02am. [...]

You may have noticed that there was no resolution to the Thanksgiving series. Honestly, and as noted here around day four or so, I ran out of significant things to be thankful for. I still posted, but those posts were bordering on mockery. "I give thanks for pie", "I sure am thankful for plastic silverware", [...]

I take it back. My brain has turned against me once more. I'm tired of your games. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being mediocre. I'm tired of being me.
I'm just tired.
I'm going to retreat.
See ya.

I'm not feeling very thankful today. I'm not thankful for wondering why I don't deserve what other people take for granted, and I'm not thankful for knowing the exact reasons why I don't deserve it.
Fuck.
I dream of things I'll never have and things I'll never have again. I dream about all of the people I've [...]

Today, I give thanks for Village Inn's delicious apple pie, and the ubiquitous scoop of vanilla ice cream that accompanies it.
Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to vegetate for several hours and then sleep the sleep of the morbidly obese.

I'm out of things to be thankful for. Yesterday was pushing it.

I've had trouble coming up with something to be thankful for today. There seems to be a wide variety of subjects to choose from, but most are patently false and only seem ripe for praise because my state of mind is upbeat (relatively) as of late. A couple are too private to share here, which [...]

Continuing the holiday warm-and-fuzzies blitzkrieg began yesterday...
I'm thankful for the family I have left. Mother, father, stepfather, sisters and one cousin-slash-sister, hereby dubbed custard. Uncle, aunt, cousin. Roughly one half of what formerly was the "family."
There are things that I know I can count on from these people. I can call my mom, spur of [...]

For a very large portion of my life - 23 years, in fact - Thanksgiving and Christmas were profoundly important to me. I looked forward to the months of November and December with much zeal and anticipation all year long. It was the time of year when, no matter what was going on between my [...]

I dislike discussing politics with people. My views on the subject are... unpopular, to say the least. I make it a point to respect other peoples' opinions, for two reasons: I believe they believe whatever it is they believe for a reason, and I don't believe that it's my place to try to supplant their [...]

I remember a time when I suffered from blog diarrhea.
So, what's been going on? (Updated with new gross spider bite wound picture goodness!)

Spartacus has passed on. It's been almost a year since I've seen him... I've thought of him constantly. I loved him. He was the sweetest cat I've ever known. He had so much personality...
Every time I've looked at the area near the bottom of the steps where he used to play on Jamie's shag carpet, [...]

I'm working on this new layout. It's very much so a half-assed effort, so if something is broken, let me know. Right now, much is broken.

Sometimes... in the scant few moments that I spend intoxicated anymore, I sit, listening to music, and I reflect upon my life.
I dare to think that my pitiful body is filled with potential. I daydream of careers as a music or movie critic; as an artist, whatever the type; as a programmer, brilliant in my [...]

Attention friends and family:
My birthday is in a month. Normally, when someone asks what I want for my birthday, I say nothing. That's not posturing, I really don't want any gifts. I prefer to go to dinner with my family or something. The time is much mor valuable than the pair of boxers you give [...]

I despise cars. Well, I should rephrase that, because it's not the car I hate, it's having to own one.
I despise having to own a car. It's a money pit.
3 weeks or so ago, my car's door handle broke. I have to roll down the window and open it from the outside.
2 weeks ago, it [...]

Things are out of control. It seems like, for me, that's the norm, rather than the exception.
I need to stop aquiescing to everyone else's demands. I need to stop putting everyone else before myself. My life is not my own; I seem to exist to satisfy the whimsy of others.
Every day I do things that [...]

I'm so fucking tired. I'm past the "I need a nap" phase and hurtling head-long into zombie-like shuffling and grunting requests for brains. I've been afraid to drive to work at times, thinking I might fall asleep at the wheel.
The thing I can't figure out is why, after the cherished few times I've managed to [...]

This will be the next book I read.
That is all.

[18:47] jrisadork: wanna know a secret?
[18:47] shehitsback: sure
[18:48] jrisadork: i love the little flash minigame banner advertisements on myspace
[18:48] shehitsback: hahaha
[18:48] jrisadork: i disable popups and play them over and over
[18:48] shehitsback: that's awesome
[18:48] shehitsback: I've never played them
[18:48] shehitsback: which one do you like best?
[18:48] shehitsback: Out Knit Saddam?
[18:48] shehitsback: lol
[18:49] jrisadork: peanut soccer [...]

"No sound even to mark the the breaking let alone the fall. That long anticipated disintegration, when the darkest angel of all, the horror beyond all horrors, sits at last upon my chest, permanently enfolding me in its great covering wings, black as ink, veined in Bees' purple. A creature without a voice. A voice [...]

I'm reading this book, and it's very interesting.
House of Leaves
I'm not ok.

It waits till the midnight hour to come
To torture me for the wrong that I've done
It just sits there and stares at me
And it won't let me get any sleep
At first I was scared
When I looked at his eyes
But now that I know him
I'm not that surprised
I'm just waiting on the sun to rise
Oh, [...]

Do things change now?
I'm using a theme now instead of any of my own designs. I just don't have the time or inclination to redesign the site, and I don't feel like rewriting the php scripts that fueled parts of the last design.
I'm wondering when the tipping point is going to come. The past year [...]

I'm losing it. I'm sitting in a hotel room, losing my fucking mind. I feel stomach acid creeping up my esophagus... I dare not move. Every movement intensifies it. My stash of antacid is in my trunk. I forgot to pack it.
Christa txted me tonight. She's decided to kill herself. I called the cops. I'm [...]

First thing's first: the guestbook and header image aren't working at the moment. I moved to a new host, and they run a newer version of php, so some of my scripts need to be adjusted.

I'm not sure what to write about, really. I feel the need to recap, but I'm not sure where to [...]

I just got some pretty horrible news... Louise Lowenthal, founder of Governor's School, died March 17th. There's an article here about it..
I don't really know what to say. She was a great person. It's a huge loss. I had no idea she started the Neptune Festival..

Braveland Design - Arriving 2006-05-03
Night Dweller
Karma Loop - Arriving 2006-05-03
Complex
No Babylon System
Star
I got the above shirt in green.. It's not what I expected. The cloth is too thin for my tastes and the green is a bit brighter than I expected. I'm not very happy with this.

The New Beginning

Continuing with the benign, information-only style of posting: I bought a plethora of shirts last week. I shall chronicle them here as they come into my possession.
Ten Bills - Arriving 2006-05-01
I have to say, I'm impressed by how quickly these shirts arrived and their quality. I ordered them Friday afternoon, and they were waiting for [...]

My language is dead. I have nothing left to say worth saying and no energy or means to say it. Every single post I have made in the past 8 months has been inadequate, almost incoherent, off-point, and often fraudulent. They do not say what I want them to say, because my brain is muddled, [...]

I'm not sure what I'm doing. Spilling my blood here is frustrating these days. As I type these entries, a very loud "Blah blah blah" echoes in my head. Some part of me knows these things don't really serve a purpose anymore... The end result is always jumbled and barely coherent.
I... am tired of certain [...]

This is gold.

So, what's been going on with me lately?
My last real post wasn't really very substantive. I've been working a lot lately.. My schedule, most of the time, is 9 to 8ish. It's partly because I have a ton to do, partly because I don't really have much of a social life anymore, partly because throwing [...]

Hahahahah. Ha.
So, on the intarweb today, people are talking about Kevin Federline's new song and how shitty it is. Naturally, I had to listen.
It is shitty, but it's also noteworthy, because my heretofore unannounced frienship with this guy is finally revealed. If you don't believe me, listen and be amazed.

So true.
I don't really have much to say. Sleep, or I guess I should say rest, continues to elude me. I've been extremely moody and irritable as a result. I don't want to be around or deal with people.
I have no creative outlets.
I'm currently reading...
Agile Web Development With Rails
Beyond Good and Evil
The Conscious Mind
The Tao [...]

Sometimes life is so surreal.
Under no circumstances would my life ever be taken seriously. I drift from one self-imposed ridiculous situation to another, by virtue of some psychotic desire to be different, quirky, at the very least noteworthy, since I can't seem to respect whatever talents I may have.
After days of spending money on a [...]

"A man whose sense of shame has some profundity encounters his destinies and delicate decisions, too, on paths which few ever reach and of whose mere existence his closest intimates must not know: his mortal danger is concealed from their eyes, and so is his regained sureness of life. Such a concealed man who instinctively [...]

I've decided I'm going to disappear for a while.

I just want to be different. Not necessarily different from the world at large, I think I've got that covered. I want to be different from me.
I've tried, in the past 6 months, to change small things about myself. I thought that if enough small points were realigned, myself as a whole would shift. I [...]

I wrote this long entry yesterday about loss and death and my ability, or lack thereof, to deal with each. But I saved it instead of publishing immediately, and today it seems silly. So I want a do-over.
I've lost a lot over the past 6 months.
Most notably her and an entire life that revolved around [...]

It's been a while since I really said anything here.
...
I don't even really know where to begin.
It's been a bad week for boyfriends. I count no less than 5 female friends either ending their relationships or teetering dangerously close to the edge of them. It irritates me to see people taking these things for granted, [...]

I'm pretty much dead. The aspects of myself that aren't quite dead, I'm wishing were moreso.
I have a lot on my mind. Far too much to enumerate here. I believe that that overburdening of my mind combined with overexposure to sick people as of late have culminated in my near-death state.

Threadless is having a secret sale right now. It ends the 25th of this month.
If you enter any of the following coupon codes...
tenbucks20, tenbucks45, tenbucks87, tenbucks34, tenbucks85
...in when making your purchase, all the shirts you buy will be reduced to $10 each. They're normally $15 so that's a pretty good discount.
So if you're a fan [...]

Well, the poll is off the front page now, and it's been running for 9 days. The margin is sufficient to call a winner, I believe.

Joanna: 44
JR: 7

Who didn't see that coming?
Now, this was her idea, and it was also her idea for the winner to have to post actual naked pictures of themselves, but [...]

I'm pretty bummed. I'm not going to explain why. I should have known, anyway. It's my own fault for daring to daydream.
I think I was too serious about the super bowl. The whole thing was really more of a joke to me, but at the end people were trying to console me, and it really [...]

You know, I've never been much of a football buff. I feigned interest briefly in middle school, in a foolhardy attempt to gain my father's favor and appear to be his definition of normal. It didn't work.
I understand the mechanics of the game. I understand somewhat why it's so popular. It's just not something that [...]

So much for not sleeping. I don't understand it, really. I miss one night's sleep and I felt sick. I used to go days without sleeping and feel fine. I guess I'm getting old.
I want several things -

I want to recreate my old blog as a ruby on rails application, more as a learning exercise [...]

Ah, I just remembered some things I need to share with you all.
First, I made some improvements to the about section.
Second, I did something this morning that perfectly illustrates how broken I am. I needed to get a prescription filled. Normal thing, right? So I head over to Farm Fresh, where I often get prescriptions [...]

Still awake. Hooray.

Who would you rather see naked?

Joanna Cook

JR Smith

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Today was an eventful day.
I cleaned. I played pool. I was stared at by a racist homeless woman. I wanted to end the life of a young douchebag. I ate lunch at Carraba's and heard a horrible cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit in the style of Sinatra. I saw Kevin Nealon at the Funny [...]

As is most likely evident by my incessant writing in this space, I am having a rough time lately.
My life has degenerated into near-constant work, for which I get nothing but an occasional compliment. At one point I thought this would help. I thought if I flooded my mind with work, there'd be no room [...]

Out of the blue, her father called me, asked me if she was here, and hung up.
It was enough to rattle me to my very fucking core.
Did he call the wrong number? It's happened before, but he's always realized it. Why would he think she would be here? Is she missing? Why am I worried [...]

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

Tragedy struck last night. Brandi's sister was murdered.
I wish I had some comforting words to give her. I just can't imagine going through what she's going through.
My heart goes out to her and her family. And, to quote Joanna, "I hope they fry the bastard."
:(

Days like today make me wonder what the point of anything is.
I've been staring at the post entry textarea for about 10 minutes since writing that first line. I really just don't know what to say. A thousand things are running through my mind, and I can't put them here, for fear of inspiring ire [...]

I got a distress call last night and did the whole good friend, good samaritan, help a brother out thing. It was from a person that I care very much about and has been having a lot of problems since she came back to Virginia, and I feel partly responsible for her being here.
But then [...]

Another sleepless night. I decided, on a whim, to build another webserver. Starting at 1am. From scratch. I only just found the parts I was missing..
Aside from seeing Hostel and going to mom's for dinner, I did nothing this weekend but pace around and work.
My life blows.

Greatest movie ever.

I'm back at work; the vacation has ended. I did very little over the past 2 weeks, and that was the point.
Lots of emails to catch up on... Sigh.

Dear JR,
In the past, the New Year has never really meant very much to us. It was an excuse to stay out and get drunk. Heh. We never needed an excuse, of course. But there was no sense of change, forward movement, or personal reflection. It was just another drunken night amongst friends.
But this year, [...]

...but this is a pretty sweet site.
Pandora
You enter the names of songs or artists that you like, and it builds a custom "station" full of music that's similar to it that you'll probably like. It's similar to liveplasma in that respect, except it actually streams the music to you.
My interest in music has stagnated lately, [...]

I decided that I wasn't doing nearly enough for each day to warrant it's own entry.
So, Christmas.
It was nice. The only time I was reminded of the nastiness going on was when Teri would mention something that had happened the night before. The food was good, the atmosphere was nice, and mom's house was sufficiently [...]

Woke up around 9:30. Didn't really do anything at all. I only woke up that early because dad called, but I couldn't go back to sleep afterward.
Went to the store and bought eggnog, a cheesecake, strawberries and strawberry glaze. Took a nap, headed to mom's. It was really a nice night. I hardly thought about [...]

Tried to sleep in. Received call at 9 fucking 30 AM from Laura asking for help making an iron man logo for a shirt iron-on. That girls asks for a LOT of favors.
Left at 11 for mom's house to make a pie. This is a small step towards showing myself that failing is ok. Crystal [...]

Couldn't sleep in past 9am. Pathetic. Watched Lord of War. Decent. Went Christmas shopping with Joanna again. Tiring but fun. Watched The Skeleton Key. Meh.
Tried to sleep. Unsuccessful.
Thoughts filling my head: scenario in which I'm confronting various family members on recent events. Hanging out with Lynne. Christmas Day. Floris coming home. Changes to my... habits [...]

Vacation begins in 26 hours. I can't fucking wait.
What will I do with my 13 free days? What will I say I'll do but not follow through on? It's anyone's guess, really, but here are some directions I'm looking in:

Learn C#, Ruby, Python, Java (ugg...) or get back into serious PHP.
Catch up on movies that [...]

Ok, I set the new theme to be the default theme last night, but obviously I didn't test well enough. Looks like IE is having some issues with the template for viewing individual blog entries. I will fix it when I can.
Cool things about this theme:

The header image changes based on weather conditions and what [...]

In an effort to distract myself from impending doom and imposing injustices, I decided to make a crappy little thing.
The idea is that this thing will keep a series of records with an integer between -10 and 10 that represents your mood for any given second. The only way something like this can ever be [...]

I'm not doing well.

A year ago today...

I was in love
I was going to be in a major, major movie.
I was moving into a nice new townhouse
I was about to pay off my car loan
I was in love
I was looking forward to my first Christmas with She Who Must Not Be Named
I was stressing over a reckless driving charge

One [...]

After much procrastination and laziness, I finally put up all the drawings I have in a gallery. I'm still tweaking it, but it's browsable.
If this is something that interests you, have a look.

Thanksgiving was a success.
Granted, it felt a little off. The absence of certain people was noticable, at least for me. But the subject wasn't broached and the day was enjoyable. The food was delicious. I was a bit unprepared for actually entertaining people, and I didn't really have anything to do, preparation-wise, except clean. Everyone [...]

That was definitely an interesting experience.
A lot of myths and misconceptions about hypnotism were dispelled for me today. It's funny, really; every person I talked to about this responded almost exactly the same way: "I hope you don't end up clicking like a chicken every time the phone rings."
The entire time I was laying there, [...]

...because a dream is what you want to do
but still haven't pursued.
I knew what I wanted,
and did it till it was done.
So I've been the dream that I wanted to be
since day one.
My hypnotist visit went well.
He's a very personable Italian guy, complete with accent and amusing speech patterns. It was more of an evaluation [...]

In an hour, CJ will be gone.
We both made choices and we have to live with the consequences of those choices. I'm not so arrogant as to think that either of us, as we are now, are portraits of our future selves. I've been friends with him for close to 10 years. He's been there [...]

I've put the old site up, but severely crippled. It's basically going to be there for archival purposes only. It contains something like 4 or 5 years worth of stuff, so I couldn't just trash it.
You'll be able to log in if you had an account. Comments, blurbs, and adding, editing or deleting entries has [...]

This man:

Master of comedy. Hands down.
I wasn't expecting much. His website gives a... certain impression. The berets, the mullets, the serious poses.. Plus, they were free tickets, he has a weird name, and he seems to exclusively tour the Funny Bone franchise.
But jesus christ was I surprised.
He said it was one of the best shows [...]

I don't really have much to say. I just don't want that depressing entry to be the last word.
Zoloft is evening me out again. Side effects are still there, sort of, but I'm dealing with it. I feel better.
The sleeplessness reminds me of the time right after Jen and I broke up. I'd gotten used [...]

I think I figured out why today was so depressing.
It's the 31st.
Today would have been...
Sigh.

Today, my existence seems very surreal. I'm not sure why.
I was switched to lexapro a few weeks ago, to see if the side effects of the zoloft would go away. And they did. But so did the positive effects. I wasn't sure if the medication was making me feel better, or if it was the [...]

I went ahead and enabled comments on entries. I figured it would be safe to do so, now that flame-inspiring drama has more or less concluded.
You will be required to register here, though, if you want to leave one. I doubt that will cause too much heartache. The same handfull of people are the ones [...]

I finally got a chance to go through the shitty German cam recording of War of the Worlds to see if I'm actually in it. The run-up-the-hill scene was too blurry, and the react-to-the-battle scene wasn't much better, but I think this is my head:

I can't tell for certain, though.

So it turns out that the comments I made about CJ this weekend were caused by a little bit of confusion on Jamie's part. She misunderstood what he was saying, and I took that misunderstanding and ran with it, partly because I expected it to happen, and partly because I just wanted to be right.
I'd [...]

"Come, Protagoras, uncover your thought for me on this: how do you stand on knowledge? Do you think of it as the majority of men do, or otherwise? The Many think that knowledge has neither strength nor authority nor power of command, that though knowledge may from time to time be present in a man, [...]

I'd say I'm pretty much done with people. I'm tired of being shit on for being honest and open, I'm tired of constantly being told I suck, and I'm tired of being proven right.
Until further notice, no one come to my house, no one call me. I'm not going to be subjected to your problems [...]

...is the one-year anniversary of me meeting Jamie in the flesh. We knew each other for around 9 months before that, while she was in Seattle. My first communication with her went as follows:
DodecahedronSPC: jamie says "wassup bay-bay"
DodecahedronSPC: lol
jrisadork: oh my
jrisadork: i blush in response
DodecahedronSPC: she picks her nose in response. I love jamie
jrisadork: haha
jrisadork: [...]

This is strangely hypnotic.

Found here.

I hate everyone and everything.
I'm not in the fucking movie. CJ is.
Aside from that, I thought it was pretty good. It was pretty suspenseful, the effects were great. The ending was a bit cheesy but, despite what Jady thinks, I thought it made a lot of sense.
But I still hate everything. Fuck.

I'm afraid of this place. Haven't been here since.. the whole Bobbi thing. I always end up hurting myself here.
Will she care? When she saw me beating myself up earlier, she just left. When I got in the car to leave, she didn't even look. I just sent her a text message, and she didn't [...]

All I want is to be the most important person to someone. To be treated like I'm the most important person to someone. I had that with Jamie... For a good 7 or 8 months. We had a few fights, but they were almost always over small things, and caused by me making too big [...]

...have been the saddest that I can remember.
I'm slowly realizing the many layers of problems that are pushing Jamie and I apart.
I saw today that I'd fallen into the same trap I always get myself into... People not understanding me at all, thinking I'm something I'm not, for whatever reason, and being attracted to that [...]

Jamie should be on her way to Florida right now.
I honestly didn't want her to go. After I dropped her off I found myself wishing that there would be some problem with the booking or something and I'd have to turn around and pick her up.. But that didn't happen. So I'm gonna spend the [...]

http://www.toxic.no/php/vis_film.php?id=82

Does anyone else think that Jamie's tattoo looks like an ass taking a shit?

I've been making engine changes as time has permitted. Mostly little things.. Getting rid of old stuff that I don't use anymore, trying to slim it down a bit.. Timezones are working now, but you can't edit your profile to say which timezone you're in anyway, so....
I'm going to implement sessions to handle a [...]

We've been fighting nearly constantly over the past couple of months. We're both guilty of a lot of miscommunication and behaving childishly. But I think this weekend we worked some things out, and both admitted some things to each other and ourselves. Hopefully things will improve from here forward.
A large part of the problem centered [...]

Seth put in his two weeks notice on Monday.
I've worked with or for him for 4 or 5 years. He's helped me out quite a bit, and looked out for me here a lot.
I'm glad that he's moving on to better things. He's been unhappy here for quite some time, and the raise is substantial.
Still, [...]

I'll admit that I had extremely high expectations going into this. Christian Bale is one of my favorite actors and is extremely adept at playing the dark, brooding, conflicted role. And Christopher Nolan is a pretty good director. Memento is one of my favorite movies.. Insomnia was decent, but not nearly as fresh and original.
I'll [...]

Tomorrow I will post at length on the following subjects:
Batman Begins
We saw the midnight showing tonight. Overall, I liked it, but I was expecting something very different.
Seth leaving c.o.r.m.i.n.e
I'm happy for him, because he hasn't been happy there for quite some time, but I'm worried about how it's going to affect me.
Problems with Jamie
I think [...]

Worst weekend ever.

I can only think straight when I'm distracted.
Today, I had to go to a movie (alone, for the first time ever. Sad, huh?) just to be able to think without going crazy or overboard.
I generally only get to think about things when I'm watching a movie, or tv, or driving, or reading a book.
Otherwise, I [...]

Disliking life greatly these past few days/months. I'm tired of all of the bullshit.
And, by all accounts, it's just going to get worse.
I'm divorcing life. "I reject your reality and substitute my own."

Undoubtedly, the last month or so has been a very exhausting time.
Lately, I've been bombarded with opinions on my current situation with Jamie, and they all say basically the same thing. As much as I disagree with what is being said, I'm not so arrogant as to write them off completely. Contrary to popular belief, [...]

I'm not sure what to do right now.
Jamie expects me to only care about her well being when she thinks it's warranted. Anytime I express concern about something she's doing that she doesn't already see as a problem, she gets extremely defensive.
Tonight, for example. She decided to go to The Wave, even though she needed [...]

A friend of mine works at this tie place and put this up. Hahaha.

I've been quite unhappy lately. I'm having trouble pinning down the reason, exactly.
It's not Jamie, though she does tend to make things much worse. It's not my living situation; I like my townhouse and I like the area. It's not money, really. Things are good on that front, though thinking about the sheer number of [...]

You all knew this would happen.
I never take it down permanently.
Anyway, I have plans for improvements, mainly to the users section of the site. I want to support some more of the standard profile/log in systems out there, hence the links in the previous section.
Anyway, since we have a long weekend coming up, I'm going [...]

http://rdfweb.org/
http://www.foaf-project.org/
http://www.danga.com/openid/
http://lid.netmesh.org/docs/

So, the supposed last trailer for War of the Worlds came out today. There's a scene that was filmed the same time we were doing something else, and they had us kind of stand around there while they filmed this one, so I THINK it's us. But I can't tell, obviously, because the trailer is [...]

More and more, returning to my recluse ways. Recent events show that people can't be trusted. I knew that once, but my brain has significantly dulled since grade school.
I read other people's journals and wIsh that I was half as intelligent as they are. My brain is slow, though, and no great wonder lies within. [...]

CJ and I talked Saturday. We're cool now, and a lot of issues other than the money were brought up.
Apparently everyone else hates me. They think I'm a dick because I haven't been hanging out with them lately.
This is partly my fault and partly a misunderstanding on their part.
A lot of shit has been going [...]

Life is funny somtimes.
Since my falling out with CJ, Jamie has practically becomes best friends with him.
I'm trying not to bothered by this. I just can't figure out how she can still hang out with him after all the things she's said to me, with regard to the recent argument we've had. I guess, though, [...]

My faith in people is all but gone.
I seriously wonder if any of this is even real lately.

The controversy over what I write here lately has been a mystery to me.
Listen, I've been doing the exact same thing in this exact place for 5 and a half years now. The purpose of this site is to recieve and store my negative emotions. I know some people have tried to turn it into [...]

My stomach hurts. I made the mistake of drinking coffee tonight. Going from zero caffeine to ultra-super coffee mode in the same day will rend your digestive system in twain.
I saw Crash this weekend. It was good, if a bit preachy and pretentious. The writing and acting was both pretty good, considering that there were [...]

The site is basically stripped to nothing.
For the time being, it will stay that way. Jamie and I have argued to no end over this thing lately.. She doesn't like being exposed to judgement and ridicule, but doesn't see that the ability to defend herself exists here.. She understands why I need this. But now [...]

"Studied my mother, I digested her pain
And I vowed no woman on my path would have to walk the same"
I did that, too. But I realized today, on the drive home, because that's the only time I have to think anymore, that I had failed to follow through.
My mom told me more than once when [...]

Jamie got pretty upset about her life being publically accessible here, so I'm going to have to go through all of my old entries and get rid of the ones that mention her.
As for the future, I'm not sure if I'll bother updating anymore. I don't want to have to censor myself, and she's a [...]

My weekend was a failure.
I did not eat insanely hot chicken wings that required signing a waiver to order. We went to Wild Wing Cantina, but they apparently turn into a night club after 10, which meant Jamie couldn't get in.
Speaking of Jamie, I had a more than minor fight with her Saturday. A little [...]

My eating adventure this week will take place at Wild Wing Cantina in Chesapeake. They have a hot wing sauce called "DOA" that you have to sign a waiver to order.
Delicious.
Their menu is here.
Tonight, at around 9:30 or 10, my stomach lining will be dissolving.

IT IS HARPOON LARRY'S
Proof #1:
"It might be a bit raucous to count as a family restaurant - it's more of an eat-in bar, I guess - but Heather and I have a great time at Harpoon Larry's, particularly on Thursday night, half-price-shrimp night. They're at Armistead & Mercury in Hampton, (827-0600). We think the shrimp [...]

I was irritated for a good portion of the weekend.
I slept about an hour and a half Thursday night, because I foolishly agreed to go out to a club with everyone. I did see two girls practically have sex on stage, so it wasn't all bad.
Anyway, because of that lack of sleep, when I got [...]

This is going to sound so ridiculous.
Practically every time I watch a movie, afterwards, I compare the course of my own life to that of practically every character in said movie and belittle myself for not living as they have.
I know that, at best, these stories are idealized and condensed retellings of life, if biographical, [...]

I heard on the radio this morning that Louise Lucas's son was killed in a car wreck yesterday. Our friend Quincy was her grandson, and they said he was the only male child, so it would have to be his father.
That sucks.
Edit: here's a news story that confirms that it was Quincy's dad: http://home.hamptonroads.com/stories/story.cfm?story=84596&ran=226717

Kung Fu Hustle was pretty sweet. The story was lacking, but the action was good and it was funny in that typically Steven Chow way, and that's all I was expecting. I'm starting to like the combination of live-action and CGI in coreographed fight scenes. It bugged me a little in The Matrix, but I [...]

Quick recap of the weekend.
Saw Sin City Friday. Great movie. A bit cheesy in dialog at times, but I chalked that up to trying to stay true to the source material. I loved the style. I loved the (mostly) parallel running of 4 different storylines. I love how the action was choreographed. I loved all [...]

Supposedly, Mitch Hedberg is dead.
I still think it's a premature April Fool's joke, but who knows.
Edit: It's looking more and more official. This fucking sucks.
As a tribute, the random quote will be serving up Mitch Hedberg quotes only.
Edit again: It's pretty much confirmed at this point. The VA Beach Funny Bone is cancelling and refunding [...]

Some notable things occured this weekend.
Thursday, though not technically part of the weekend, I will still mention this here: Jady and I went to the The Ring 2 and it sucked. The deer scene was funny, but that was not enough to save it. I came home and Jamie was going to The Wave with [...]

I've been a person lately who is full of hate.
I sit at home and judge everyone else. I hate them for being able to do the things that I cannot.
I'm frustrated beyond belief with my own life. I feel completely incapable of changing anything.
I hate that Jamie is becoming a club kid. I hate that [...]

This is awesome

I'm slightly depressed lately, so expect a flood of angsty bullshit posts bemoaning my situation.
I have a lot on my mind lately. Whenever I stop being distracted from them, I feel like a huge weight is resting on my brain. It's like the feeling you get when something is frustrated the hell out of you, [...]

Because I am weak.
I told myself that I could get away with acting like I used to act for just one night. I didn't necessarily want to drink, but I miss being out with my friends and acting crazy.
I told myself that it wasn't really going to count, since it's practically expected for everyone to [...]

Get tail lights fixed
Get windshield fixed
Make Never Perfect website
Make BEI Window Coverings logo
Finish building dev server
Learn c# and vb.net
Learn the .net evironment
Finish this site:

blurbs browser
search
profiles
site options
change password
registration (?)
author filter - done 3/10/2005
"sticky" posts - done 3/10/2005
conversion to transactions
Set up moblog cron job
Split off entry permissions to other table
Fix GMT date modifiers
Set "site options" at user [...]

This movie sucked. A lot.
Now, I really liked Get Shorty. I was excited to see this sequel, despite the low rating on rottentomatoes.com and the negative reviews. I was willing to give it a shot, even though we all know that sequels usually blow.
My faith and confidence were misplaced.
This movie sucked. A lot.
The plot was [...]

Since my giving up alcohol has seemingly ground my social life to a screeching halt, and side work is sparse right now, I finally decided to go ahead and start learning to work in the .NET environment. I bought a hefty new book, set up a hefty new little dev server, and will be devoted [...]

Typical human manipulative bullshit does not work on me. Moreso when I'm pissed or depressed.
This means that, if you piss me off and then try to give me a guilt trip, you are going to fail. In my mind, you have put yourself into this position, and no amount of trickery is going to save [...]

My new favorite word is Dang.
Pronounced with a slight drawl and a hint of exasperation.
Example usage:

"Dang. It sure is hawt."
"Dang. I got a lot of work to do."
"Dang. Those are some massive breasts."
"Dang. Those are some fake breasts."
"Dang. I sho' am full."

I fully expect this to grate the nerves of my loved ones, for I [...]

To whom it may concern -
Jamie is leaving to visit her parents for the weekend tonight. She will be gone until Sunday night. This affords me an opportunity to play world of warcraft without being nagged to do chores or having to listen to her sigh and stomp around because my attention is not devoted [...]

I can't sleep.
I haven't really been sleeping well for a while now. I thought it was because I've been sick, but now I'm not so sure. It's not that I'm not tired or sleepy.. I just can't sleep for more than a few hours.
I have a lot on my mind. Lately, the only thing in [...]

...is going to be at the Funny Bone April 7th through 10th. Who wants to go?

I've been feeling crappy lately. I think it's psychosematic. Sunday, I felt genuinely ill, but it may have been because I didn't do anything all weekend except sit on my ass and play World of Warcraft.
But since then, during the day, I've been hit by an intense... I don't know what to call it. Malaise. [...]

I've disabled a bunch of crap. I want the site to run faster.

The site's been down since Wednesday. Apparently, there's been some kind of problem with the server, and my host decided to suspend my account and then remove my permission to access the blog subdomain.
I find it odd that they decided to blame first "high amounts" of traffic to the site, which just flat-out isn't true, [...]

I love you Jamie

Awesome.

...and everyone else who bitches when I don't say bless you when they sneeze: http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2005/20050128l.jpg

I was going through old descriptions of dreams the other day and I felt the need to turn them into short stories. So, at least once a week until I run out, I'll be posting my dreams in coherent story form here.
Excited? I would be. I don't mean to brag, but my twisted mind has [...]

I got a call about an hour ago from a user at work saying that the EPO was acting "crazy". I look and see that the different sections are listing things duplicated 4 or 5 times, all with different item numbers. I look at the item section and see that some items just look out [...]

My good friend.

I have purchased it. After spending two hours going to every game store in Virginia Beach (and trust me, that's a LOT) I finally found a copy in a ghetto ass area of Norfolk and made the arduous trek there this afternoon. It is mine, and I'm confident in saying it is one of 5 [...]

With Jamie gone this weekend, I was finally able to sit and focus on the side work i had failed to get started on. I finished it all up in a day and a half. Considering how much I had to do and the nature of the projects, I'm fairly impressed with that.
I had very [...]

Finally tracked down the query that was causing the site to load so slowly. It was my own error... It was the function that checks to see if any entries were made on a certain date and tells the template to show that date on the calendar as a link... I had that set up [...]

This is funny as shit.
Please note, that's a link to a 2.5 meg quicktime movie.

Last night, I stayed up late rewriting the user authentication code for the Coppermine image gallery so it would work with the weblog's authentication stuff. I didn't go so far as to change the format of the stored cookie so that you wouldn't have to log in twice, but I may do that at some [...]

As you can see, I've changed the site's layout.
I'm still working on it. For now, only the weblog templates have been created. When I have time, I'll finish the rest. I just wanted to get the new design up and get the most frequently used section running.
As usual, let me know if you come across [...]

For my own records.
Edited to include further dialogue.
I need to get this off of my chest.
I can't begin to explain my hatred for you. I've hated you for something like 5 months now, and every time you come up in conversation, that hatred intensifies.
At first, I thought it was just a product of jealousy and [...]

This tshirt looks like me:
http://www.bustedtees.com/product.php?name=beards

A little odd, but still funny:
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF029ADGeniusSir.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF019ADSgtGrumbles.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF018ADTheFirstSnowflakeofWinter.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF011ADHammerScrewed.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF010ADTurtleCare.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF009ADMoonisFull.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF008ADSplashFriends.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF005ADNoSurvivors.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF003ADSnailHarassment.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF002ADQPIInterview.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF001BCMerryChristmasSurgery.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF003BCBunnyPit.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF006BCBallerinaSlippers.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF008BCBarbaraandRudy.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF013BCBetterLuckNextTime.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF015BCSweetCandyIncorporated.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF019BCKittySaved.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF021BCDisgustingTed.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF022BCSmallMan.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF023BCRaftFriends.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF024BCNewSpecsforKen.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF026BCWormSquish.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF027BCAngelsCaught.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF028BCAdultHeaven.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF032BCSuicideTrain.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF036BCFallingDream.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF038BCMonkeyPhotography.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF039BCSpaceLove.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF043BCBearBoy.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF044BCGopherGirlfriend.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF045BCTimeMachine.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF056BCPuppyWish.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF058BCSpacePrank.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF072BCInstantBacon.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF079BCMonsterDad.html
http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF081BCStiffBreeze.html

So, I haven't really slept in like, 4 days. I say "haven't really" because I've slept for a few hours each night, but they've been spasmodic, interrupted, uncongealed, if that's even a word and spelled right. The opposite of congealed.
Jamie sent me an email this morning saying we needed to talk. Never good to hear [...]

I've stopped for a few seconds to upload some pictures of Justin's room.
I didn't get any pictures of us digging his furniture out, because the electricity is off at the apartment and, even though my camera has a flash, it couldn't focus quick enough to capture the image. My dad and I moved his bed, [...]

So, christmas was pretty good this year.
Notable gifts: Ren and Stimpy DVD, Chapelle's Show DVD, 2 bottles of Mezcal w/ worm.
Jamie seemed to enjoy christmas eve at my grandparents' house. My family really likes her, and are very warm and friendly towards her. She said she almost cried a few times.
I'm almost sad that it's [...]

I found this gallery of pics someone took on the set: http://community.webshots.com/album/231983639VehwJe/1

I just heard that Earl gave out the larger-than-usual bonuses this year.
Sigh.
I could have used that money. I really could have.
Oh well. I guess I'll just make use of Cormine's christmas bonus when I get home and forget my sorrows.

I miss teh intarweb.
So, we're all moved. Mostly. I still need to clean out my closet and generally clean up around the house. There's also the looming possibility that I'll have to move Justin's shit out, if he doesn't come home in the next couple weeks. His mom had a brain hemorrhage. That really sucks. [...]

Here's a huge update on what went on the past few days.
CJ and I didn't actually leave for Lexington until close to 11. After work Tuesday, I went and dropped off my car at the Shell station so they could figure out what happened to my odometer, then went and got a haircut and got [...]

...I'm leaving for Hollywood. Tonight.
...
Everything's all set. We've booked a hotel room. We have directions, check in numbers, and wardrobe directions. We leave tonight for stardom.
I'll be selling bottles of my urine on eBay this summer.

Well, I got the place. The agent called this morning and asked me a few questions, and said she's going to approve the lease. I sign for it on Friday morning.
The shitty thing is that, because I paid my rent late twice, I have to pay with certified funds. Not a big deal really.
Also, this [...]

I'm off to court. My lawyer is optimistic, but still. Wish me luck.

Edit: The verdict? The judge disregarded the fact that my speed sensor was off by 11 mph and found me guilty. 90 days in jail, suspended on the condition that I pay the $250 fine and court costs, and I don't get any [...]

ANNOUNCEMENT
All who call me friend, take heed. I am going to be in a movie. A Steven Spielberg movie. A Steven Spielberg movie starring Tom Cruise.
Yes, this movie.
Who wants to touch me?
CJ will also be in the movie.

So, a lot has been going on lately.
My court date for my wreckless driving ticket is tomorrow. I [...]

I'm seriously stressed over money lately.
This month is bad. The rent is increased because the apartment complex screwed up and never sent me the form asking if I wanted to renew my lease or not. They had the wrong lease ending date. It's supposed to be up the 5th of this month, but they had [...]

I thought that this holiday weekend couldn't get any worse.
Friday, after a sleep fueled only by exhaustion, I remembered that Matt #6 was having a party at his place. I figured this would be a good way to try to relax and forget my troubles.
But I went about it all wrong. I bought a bottle [...]

Yesterday was the worst thanksgiving I've ever had, and quite possibly one of the worst days of my life.
It started with Jamie translating "I didn't go get my tire replaced yet" to "I don't want to go and am trying to weasel out of it". So, at like 5:30 or 6 on the day before [...]

So, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. While I'm not as close to my family as I should be, there are two times each when I crave that feeling of being a part of a group that loves and supports you regardless of how bad you screw up: Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. For as long as I can [...]

Poll module
Work events back in
redesign?
implemet template switching
Moblog browser

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=8-4/qid=1100735515/ref=sr_8_4/602-9957079-7087041?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B0002KPIBO

Quick recap of the past few days.
Friday night, I went out with Jamie and her friend from work and her fiance. We ate at Olive Garden, where I had a couple long islands and they told us way too much about their sex life. Afterwards, we went bowling (just like last time...) and I had [...]

The Machinist will be playing at the Naro next month, starting the 17th, through Christmas. Anybody wanna go?

Here's a recap of recent events.
Saturday we had a mini-party at Matt B.'s house. We bought lots of alcohol and played drunken trivial pursuit. Cherry was there, and got fucked up after a couple of drinks. I drank half a handle of vodka and blacked out. Jady and CJ tell me that I began my [...]

I'll sometimes just suddenly feel like shit. There's seemingly no cause for it. Sometimes, something comes to light after the fact and makes it seem like I somehow had some kind of premonition or something, but I don't really believe in that kind of thing, and it doesn't always work out that way, so I [...]

RIP - Dirt McGirtRussell Jones, Ol' Dirty Bastard, Big Baby Jesus - 1969-2004

Movies I've seen recently:

I Heart Huckabees - really good
Saw - really bad
The Incredibles - great
Plan 9 from Outer Space - hilariously cheesy

So, Saturday, I went up to meet Jamie's parents and brother.
Considering the circumstances surrounding her departure from her family, I was less than optimistic about this trip. (For those who may be unfamiliar with the situation, Jamie decided to move down here very suddenly, her mom freaked out, there was a huge fight, and she [...]

Hm. While I was pretty sure Bush was going to win, I'm surprised that he's been as far ahead as he has been. I guess it proves that the silent majority is exactly that.
Of course, I'm sure that there's going to be a tremendous amount of bullshit in the next 11 days over provisional ballots [...]

Sunday was our 3 month anniversary. I have to say that the past 3 months have been the happiest of my life. We've had a lot of petty squabbles, about things like who gets to make dinner, or whether we want to go get donuts, or going to the beach, and I count myself as [...]

THIS JUST IN: CJ WEST IS A FUCKING BASTARD.

Lately I've been extremely frustrated. It's affecting me big-time.
I'm frustrated by my lack of money. I don't have enough money for a deposit on a townhouse. I don't want to move to an apartment. Jamie hates our current apartment. I know just being there is taking a toll on her. It's a shitty place, but [...]

If any of you have ever read the Ted the Caver story, I saw this on a forum I frequent today. It's along the same lines as Ted the Caver, but more interesting and better written. It's based on actual events in the author's life.

What was waiting for me when I got home last night?

I had 8 of them and nearly died. Jamie had to stop after 3, because she's tiny.
That, my friends, is love.

I'm a child. I've known this for quite some time but always managed to ignore it, and relegate my childish irresponsibilities to "youthful indescretion." Lately, though, that hasn't been possible, and this weekend was the worst example of it all.
When I went up to visit Jamie in August, I got two tickets. One was for [...]

You know, no matter how hard you try, you just can't avoid politics these days.
I can't stand politicians. Even the most saintly politician is a liar. It's his job. He lies. I can understand why you people back certain candidates, though.. You're willing to turn a blind eye to the backhanded, bastardly acts they commit [...]

Everyone is dying this year. Superman died this weekend.

I have to go to Florida tomorrow, for work. I'm not looking forward to it in the least.
They decided it needed to be a "day trip", so I have to be at the airport at 4:30 am, and I won't be coming home until after 11 pm at the earliest. Oh, and we're not getting [...]

All at once, it seems like it's hardly been a few days, but also a lifetime. I've never been so happy... Thank you for that.

This guy lived in my old apartment. That's... a bit unsettling.

FUCK MY JOB
FUCK MY JOB
FUCK MY JOB
FUCK MY JOB
FUCK MY JOB
FUCK MY JOB
fuck it right in the ass. FUCK.

I want this.

Having slacked in the art department lately, and being well aware of http://www.explodingdog.com/ and http://www.spamusement.com/, I'm toying with the idea of ripping off their premise and drawing graphical interpretations of random phrases and spam email subjects.
Thoughts?

http://boston.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/40691636.html

How can I believe that you are happy when your eyes and face betray your words? You frown when you're not paying attention. You force a smile when you know I'm looking.
How can I believe you when you say I'm the one you want to be with, forever, when you tell another that you wish [...]

I, JR Smith, do solemnly swear to refrain from using any cheats, walkthroughs, exploits or guides when playing the much-awaited Fable.
I also swear to complete Star Ocean: Til the End of Time before purchasing Fable.
Signed,
JR Smith

...and his name is Pedro.