tonight i had an awful nightmare. it’s been a while - a few months - since i had one that was so bad, i was afraid to go back to sleep.

i think it’s funny that so many people can do so many awful things and it just rolls right off of them, and no one holds it against them. their consciences don’t give it a second thought.

i do one bad thing, one horrible thing that i don’t even remember, and it haunts me for the rest of my life. the world judges me for it. i am never allowed to forget or forgive myself.

somehow, it just doesn’t strike me as fair.