For a very large portion of my life - 23 years, in fact - Thanksgiving and Christmas were profoundly important to me. I looked forward to the months of November and December with much zeal and anticipation all year long. It was the time of year when, no matter what was going on between my parents, or how horrible the school year had been or was shaping up to be, I could count on being amongst a large group of people who thought highly of me and seemed to love each other. Two nights out of the year, I knew what the ideal of family really was, and those nights served to replenish my faith in humanity, such as it was in those days.

Now, these two days have become a reminder of the fallibility of the human heart. It’s now the most depressing time of year, instead of the happiest. Would that I could ignore the season altogether instead of going through the motions and searching and expecting something that will likely never come again. It’s not for lack of effort, don’t misunderstand me; the remaining half of my family tries their hardest to carry on, and I appreciate that. But the damage that has been done by a handful of misguided souls and, what’s more to blame, the ego, is irrevocable. The stain will always be visible upon the surface of the “holidays,” which is a funny term in these circumstances. There will never been a Thanksgiving or Christmas henceforth where I do not reflect upon this division and weep.

That said, I’ve decided to combat this depression by naming something I am thankful for, once a day, for the next 9 days, which I’ve dubbed The Nine Days of Thanksgiving. I’ve taken this week off from work, so I’ll have plenty of time to dwell on these things. Today marks the first, so on we go.

I’m thankful for the friends who made it through Armageddon last year. I count amongst this number CJ and Jady, being the principle side characters in that drama. Even though CJ, Jady and I are not what we once were, I still consider them friends.

I’m thankful for Joanna, without whom I would be a complete and total hermit. I’m thankful for Seth, who often acts as a kind of pushy, blunt Jiminy Cricket. I’m thankful for Allison, who keeps me entertained during the workday, feeds me book titles to pick up so I can pretend to be well-read, and perpetually disagrees with my self-deprecation. I’m thankful for Christa, for her sense of humor, and also her sweet rack. I’m thankful for Matt #6, for his chicken wing recipe and his creative nature. I’m thankful for Chloe and her aloofness. I’m thankful for Trish, for being a fellow traveler on the Social Phobia Express, and because, if I don’t say I’m thankful for her, she’ll cut me.

It’s a short list, and I’m probably leaving people out, but… These are the ones who touch my everyday life in some way, and I’m glad to have them, for better or for worse.