i hate my stomach. i have bad cramps and diarrhea. i went to work for about an hour today, and i think i’m going to call in sick again tomorrow. i’m very paranoid about being anywhere but home when i have even mild diarrhea…
i think maybe i’m getting a little dehydrated too. i have a […]

long, but very funny.
http://twc.sshunet.nl/%7Edjstronk/ircbible/pages/archive.html

i was finally able to turn my cell phone back on and pay the massive bill.
i can’t believe how much money i just spent.

life is confusing. i’m very confused.
i feel emotionally bereft. i hear some potentially life-or-death news regarding what i consider to be a good friend and i am so detached and reactionless that i actually shiver and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. i get depressed and very, very sad over something that makes […]

AA thursday!
i had 2 jumbo margaritas at lunch, a 48 ounce margarita, and 5 or 6 long island iced teas. i was alright until we left shorebreak. then i woke up at 10:30 late for work
craziness
naughty school girl contest… some girls made out. jady kept trying to fight people.
haaaaaaaaaaaaa i’m still very drunk.

my favorite book since the 4th grade has been the jungle book by rudyard kipling. NO not the disney version.
i just found the full text at Project Gutenberg: http://www.gutenberg.net/etext95/jnglb10.txt
and now my life is complete.

forgot to post about this last night.
new site stuff:

new user registration: people can create their own accounts now instead of having to ask me for one. default permissions for new users allow them to post stuff, but if it’s abused, i’ll change that to commenting only
delete messages: you can now delete messages from your inbox.
blurb […]

http://www.brandonbird.com/lno_color.html
law and order is the greatest show ever conceived of by man

it’s 4:45 am, and i’m awake, because i can’t sleep, because my mind and heart are both racing, and i don’t know why.
i dwell on things that are both within and beyond my control. my self-imposed alienation from my supposed circle of friends. the lack of emails from casha since we went to lunch. the […]

http://www.agrisupportonline.com/minisheep.htm

i was thinking about work this weekend and came to the conclusion that i wouldn’t be at that company for much longer. 6 months to a year, tops.
i don’t remember exactly what sparked this train of thought, but for some reason, i was thinking about don woodruff. don did some programming, and some graphics work, […]

Personality Disorder Test Results

Paranoid
||||||||||||||||||
74%

Schizoid
||||||||||||||||
62%

Schizotypal
||||||||||
38%

Antisocial
||||||||||||||||
66%

Borderline
||||||||||||||||||||
82%

Histrionic
||||
18%

Narcissistic
||||||||||
38%

Avoidant
||||||||||||||||||||
90%

Dependent
||||||||||||||
58%

Obsessive-Compulsive
||||||
22%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test

Disorder Info
Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal
Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.
Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.
Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow […]

Advanced Big Five Personality Test Results

Sociability
||
10%

Gregariousness
||||||||||||
42%

Assertiveness
||||||
22%

Activity Level
||||||||||
34%

Excitement-Seeking
||||||||||
38%

Cheerfulness
||||||||||
34%

Extroversion
||||||
30%

Trust
||||
18%

Morality
||||||||||||||
54%

Altruism
||||||||||||
42%

Cooperation
||||||||||||||
54%

Modesty
||||||||||||||||||
78%

Sympathy
||||||||||||
50%

Friendliness
||||||||||||
49%

Self-Efficacy
||||||||||||
50%

Neatness
||||||||||||
42%

Dutifulness
||||||||||
34%

Achievement
||||||
26%

Self-Discipline
||||||
26%

Cautiousness
||||||
30%

Orderliness
||||||||||
34%

Anxiety
||||||||||||||||||||
82%

Anger
||||||||||||||||
70%

Depression
||||||||||||||||||
74%

Self-Consciousness
||||||||||||||||||||
86%

Immoderation
||||||||||||||||||
74%

Vulnerability
||||||||||||||||
62%

Emotional Stability
||||||
26%

Imagination
||||||||||||||||||
78%

Artistic Interests
||||||||||||||||
62%

Emotionality
||||||||||||||||
62%

Adventurousness
||||||||||
34%

Intellect
||||||||||||||
58%

Liberalism
||||||||||||
50%

Openmindedness
||||||||||||||
57%

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i had a weird dream last night.
i woke up, walked out to the living room, and cj was sleeping on the couch. i was confused because i had seen him leave (in reality, not in the dream.. i didn’t realize i was dreaming) and i knew i had locked the doors. so i woke him […]

i’m tired, but i can’t sleep.
i feel like my life could fall apart at any time. so many things, from trivial to critical, seem to be stitched together by one very tiny thread that’s bound to break at some point.
it keeps me up at night. it keeps me distracted during the day.
everything just seems… scattered. […]

life is soup.

i’m really starting to hate people.
people are petty. people are shallow. people are idiots. people can’t see their own faults, or at the very least, refuse to admit them.
i’m not that way. i know my problems. i take them into consideration before arguing. i’m very self aware. i lack the motivation to fix anything, but […]

so right now, at 2:17 am on a thursday night, i’m drunk, and continuing to drink.
today at work sucked. i had to work intensely the whole day. the only reason i stopped for lunch was hunger. i am trying to catch up on all the projects i have been ignoring.
i decided i would participate in […]

i’ve added a new feature.
there’s a new link in the navigation menu for members: » new posts and comments. this shows all the comments and posts that have been added since the last time you cleared new messages, which, for everyone except me, is currently December 28th, 2003. that’s when i added the clear date […]

the bottom could drop out at any time.
i don’t think i’ll be able to handle it when it does.

antisocial mode begins now.

i guess i should recount some of the new years events, for posterity.
new years eve eve
had lunch with joanna. uneventful. chilled at home for a while. i did something with jady and kelly, which escapes me at the moment, but anyway, we were at me and justin’s place awaiting cj’s call. his cousin was in […]

i was going to say something, but… i forgot.
oh. maybe it had something to do with the movie. yeah. something’s gotta give was really good. go see it if you liked as good as it gets.