my life has been a gigantic waste of time. i mean very little to very few people. what is the point of me being around?

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay,
Oh I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be,
There’s a shadow hanging over me,
Oh yesterday came suddenly…
Why she had to go I don’t know. She wouldn’t say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday,
Yesterday, […]

I’ve been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You’re all I’ve ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
‘Cause you know […]

My story is much to sad to be told
But practically everything leaves me totally cold
The only exception I know is the case
When I’m out on a quiet spree, fighting vainly the old ennui
Then I suddenly turn and see
Your fabulous face
I get no kick from champagne
Mere alcohol doesn’t thrill me at all
So tell me why should […]

In me you see a man alone
Held by the habit of being on his own
A man who listens to the trembling of the trees
With sentimentals ease
In me you see a man alone
Behind the wall he’s learned to call his home
A man who still goes walking in the rain
Expecting love again.
A man not lonely
Except when the […]

i tend to latch on to one person at a time.
meaning, i generally have only one friend in mind when considering how to spend my time. i’ve always been that way.
it’s a problem because the person i latch on to usually doesn’t want to see me very often, and i get shit from the few […]

just now, i was reading a forum, and i stumbled across this:
Some of you were around when this thread was posted, detailing an AIM conversation I had with a female friend/coworker.
Well, I just talked to her again…I’d post a verbatim conversation, but when she said she needed to get to bed, I just signed off…at […]

i just had a nutty dream.
i was at my old house in churchland, and people were there, can’t really remember everthing about this first part.. i kept eating food, and there was all this kool aid in the fridge, and i kept trying to drink it straight from the container but it kept drinbbling all […]

today is tuesday

smart crow.
i mirrored the movie here.
that’s pretty cool.

i don’t know why i bother. seriously. why do people have such a hard time accepting generosity?
if i buy you something, it’s not because i’m trying to impress someone, or because i’m trying to make you feel guilty. i do it because i can, and it makes me feel good. to turn around and give […]

i need to lose weight. anybody wanna join a gym with me?
i would ask cj, but he goes to a military gym that i can’t go to.
so, is anyone interested? i’m sick of being fat.

so it’s friday afternoon, i’m at work for at least 3 more hours, and my mind has gone completely numb. seriously, it just isn’t working anymore.
i feel like i haven’t slept in 4 or 5 days. i wanna go home and play star wars. i wanna go see bad boys 2 and johnny english. i […]

i was just using the bathroom. i looked down and noticed a large lump in my scrotum. as in, a 3rd lump. it’s hard and about as big around as a walnut. it seems to be attached to something.
that can’t be good. i think tomorrow i’ll make a doctor’s appointment.

hi!
listen, i hate you. well, there are a few exceptions to this.
i don’t hate my mom. i don’t really hate my dad, although i did for a long time. now i just feel sorry for him, and i’m afraid of being like him.
i don’t hate my grandparents or my uncles, aunts and nephews.
i don’t hate […]

i’m at work. i’m waiting for several people to send me stuff, so i’m just sorta stuck with nothing to do. so, time for an update.
click here for my t3 review
not much else to say really. a certain someone from michigan continues to ignore me, but i’ve made no effort to talk to her either.. […]

artlog posts don’t work. there’s some kind of permissions problem that’s preventing users from uploading images. I’m not sure what’s causing it, since no permissions have changed, nor has any of the scripting behind it.
not that any of you bastards ever post anything anyway.

today seems strange. i’m not sure why. more on this later. i just made a breakthrough in the PDF generating script i’m working on.

i told myself i wouldn’t start playing it until they released the player vehicle expansion.
but i’m weak.
i read so much positive stuff about the game that i just had to buy it.
so last thursday, i did.
it’s vastly different from any other MMORPG i’ve played before. for the record, i’ve played nexus for a few years […]

i’m tired, angry, and sad.
people suck. all of you. there is not one single exception to that.
every person living or has ever lived SUCKS unequivocally and irrevocably.
you’re all liars. you’re all superficial and refuse to admit it. you’re all dishonest.
i’ve decided i’m going to retreat fully into online games. no more hanging out with you […]

people lie. a lot.
yes, i’m talking about you.

I don’t want to be at work today.
I told myself I wasn’t going to buy the new Star Wars MMORPG right away. I told myself “Self, you already have DAoC! You should play THAT!”.. But.. the stories.. and the screenshots.. it just sounds like such a sweet game.
And the kicker is that it sounds like […]

It just occured to me that my current place of employment is just like high school.
The ones that get ahead are either attractive or have that “salesman” persona, very friendly, able to smooth-talk every one else.. When, in reality, they’re greedy and opportunistic.
I sit here at my desk all day, wondering why I didn’t call […]

today, i am sad.
reason? too many to list. yesterday was a crappy day. work sucked.. i didn’t feel like i was running at full speed. i was slow to respond to anything and when i did, it was like someone else with a learning disability of some kind was answering for me, and i was […]

…about to head off to bed.
the pain in my stomach has subsided somewhat. it may just be drowning in pepto bismol, since i’ve been drinking it nonstop since saturday. i hope it holds up tomorrow, i’m having mongolian bbq with joanna.
john, i’m working on your site. i’m sacrificing my DAoC time for you man. there’s […]