ok, granted, this picture probably won’t mean anything to most of the people who’ll read this. it’s mainly for cj, floris and myself, based on the jokes last night…
to try to make it understandable, there was a bit of a joke war last night between cj and floris, and the subject matter used against floris […]

ok, not having internet access sucks ass… here’s what’s been going on the past few days:

joanna’s back home. btw, joanna, i think we’re all gonna go out to jillian’s tonight, and your presence is requested.
i haven’t finished moving yet.. well, all my stuff is there, but i haven’t finished unpacking all my stuff yet. it’s […]

no net access at home until the middle of this week, possibly later.
also, no sleep. no sleep. FUCK. and no tv, because i missed the guy, since they didn’t tell me when the installation time was.

since i’ve moved, i won’t have dsl for a little while.. probably not until the middle of next week. if you need me, call…
on an unrelated note, i’m exhausted emotionally and physically and will undoubtedly try to kill myself with alcohol and late nights over the coming days/weeks. given that a variable x represents […]

fine, fuck you. ignore me. i don’t care. i, from this point forward, and completely numb and devoid of feeling. that’s what you want right? a robot to act how you want when you want. well i have no interest in that. ignoreme, fine, i don’t care, my heart hasn’t been a part of me […]

you know i’ve actually tried to sit here and type out a bunch of stupid, pointless drivel to make everyone understand how i feel right now, but it all seems idiotic to me now. i look at every word i write and am disgusted by it.
just know this: i am sad, too sad drone on […]

why is it that everything goes wrong all at once? seriously… bad things always seem to happen within a day or two of each other.
jen’s pissed at me, won’t call me back. i just found out that my license is still suspended. don’t know why. my car insurance went up to almost $500 A MONTH […]

found this while showing cj my email archive at work:
DaizyChik00: what’s up CJ?
Pablo310: hey
Pablo310: whos this?
DaizyChik00: Ginger :-)
Pablo310: okay
DaizyChik00: how are you?
Pablo310: fine joannas here
Pablo310: i;m busy
Pablo310: yeah so hows life been?
Pablo310: […]

i’m moving thursday. it looks like all the extra money i had saved up for christmas is going to be eaten up by 2 rent payments, getting the cat fixed and declawed, getting power and the phone moved/turned, and other crap.. but i dunno, i’ll figure something out.
i’m tryng to take the rest of the […]

when you post a comment or normal post and include a URL (I.E., http://www.jrsmith.net/) it will be automatically converted to a link. if you manually put in the <a href…>…&lt/a> it will be stripped out.

my heart hurts.

crazy dream…
it was a two-parter. first, i was at my granparents’ house, and i had to pee really bad, so i go upstairs to their bathroom, only to find that their toilet had been replaced by a small purple recliner. i tried to find the bowl, thinking it was an exotic toilet and the seat […]

god, i’m so tired.
i haven’t been able to sleep more than a few hours a night the past 5 or 6 days. yesterday i felt like i was getting sick so i took a bunch of alka seltzer night time cold medicine, thinking it would help me sleep, but i just laid in bed til […]

sly messaged me tonight, asking for my phone number. calls me up drunk as hell, .
so i go over there, and his house is completely dark. 3 cars in the driveway, no porch light, no bedroom lights or TVs or anything.. i knocked on the door lightly, then decided to go to the texaco and […]

i’m working on an artwork gallery section, so the site may experience sporadic outages, since i’m too lazy to set up a dev version.

…is that i hate doing it. none of the places around here have any 1 bedrooms available. the ones that do are shitty. i looked at 2 today, one in virginia beach, one in norfolk. both sucked.
saturday i’ll be looking at a place called thousand oaks apartments, off of first colonial. it’s a little more […]

i don’t understand this. i really don’t. as recently as wednesday morning things between us were great. all of a sudden, thursday night, things are in the crapper. i call friday, get nothing back. i call saturday, get nothing back. she comes by saturday night to give me what could be construed to be parting […]

i’ve changed the posting rules a little..
now, it replaces lines breaks with <br> tags. it should’ve done this all along, i just was too lazy to put it in.
this applies to both posts and comments.

Dear Life,
    By the time you read this letter, I’ll be gone. Things just weren’t working out. I mean, I tried, and I know you at least put forth a little effort, but in the end, I don’t think it was meant to be. We’re just too different, you see.
    If […]

this latest discovery leaves my mind realing.
not sure what to do or say now. then again, i haven’t been sure what to do or say for several days, or for the past 21 years for that matter.
i’m shivering. lately the world is a much, much colder place, because it looks like my fire has gone […]

i have to move sometime in the next couple weeks.. i don’t know if i’ll be able to move in with jen’s friend. i haven’t heard anything about it in a week or two.. she was supposed to be getting a list of places from her brother last i heard.. i’m going to start looking […]