everything stops. just stop. no more go. stop. no more. end. be done. stop going forward. i am so tired of going. i want to stop.

i couldn’t sleep tonight so i whipped up some new stuff…
head over to the artlog and feel free to comment. floris, for you specifically that translates to feel free to critique.

untitled

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self-portrait

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untitled

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i feel like i’m losing it. when i’m around other people, any other people, i feel like i’m on autopilot. like i’m stuffed up in the very back of my brain, behind glass, watching myself do and say things i had no idea i was going to do or say. there’s no conscious processing or […]

updated my mp3 list…

last night i had quite a strange dream. i’ll try to remember it all…
i had gone to see a movie with cj. we’re sitting in the theater and there’s tons of people there. it was an animated movie, and took place in the middle east somewhere.. sorta like aladdin. anyway i see this usher, dressed […]

this is the freakiest dream i’ve ever had!!! i don’t even remember having it:

just read this in someone’s .sig at hardocp’s forum:
I typed hotmale instead of hotmail in the browser once by accident and I have never seen life the same since…
funniest thing i’ve seen in a while.

i’m extremely tired. i don’t know. wny. i can barely move my arms. and you know how it is when you get really sleep y it’s like being drunk. i uninstalled aol instant messenger, since the only person who talked to me on it was joanna and she has 300,00,00 people talking to her at […]

i miss you.
i’m sorry i fucked it up. i’m sorry i made it this difficult for you to be my friend.
i’m sorry i didn’t understand what you wanted better. i’m sorry i couldn’t become that.
i’m sorry i put my own feelings and needs before yours. i’m sorry i wasn’t there for you like you were […]

removed an obsolete webring. moved some navigation links from the top to the side.
the biggest change would be different log categories. there’s now a differentation between weblog entries, dreams, and art.

merging. indistinct.
we gotta do sumthin ta get ahead in dis world.
what am i doing? what the hell is going on? the truth about yourself is elusive and everchanging. one day you think you’ve got a pretty good idea of who you are and what you are about, the next all that is torn to shreds […]

what’s been going on?
let’s start with what’s going on with bobbi. earlier this week i left up a stupid away message, which had nothing to do with anything, and she took it personally. and now, despite everything i say, and the complete lack of advances on my part, she says i still want a relationship […]

death was near and i turned, purely out of instinct. near-death experiences have a way of refocusing you…

so i read God’s Debris by scott adams today. he’s the guy who does dilbert. i have to say i’m a bit disappointed…
they called it a thought experiment. the underlying premisce is an average guy, delivering a package to some old man, who apparently knows everything there is to know. he tells the guy that […]

ehh… why? a simple question, but full of trouble.
like, why…. do people act the way they do? why repeat the same mistakes over and over? why think man, this is fucked up, i shouldn’t do this again… then do it again, and hate yourself for it? my will seems to be so… lacking. it’s easy […]

oh my god it’s snowing so hard outside!! i’ve been driving around in it. me and joanna had snowball fights. on the way back just now i lost control of the car like 5 times, since the portsmouth side of the downtown tunnel like had NO tracks in it from cars, so my little camry […]