so how’s life? i dunno.. i feel weird. i feel like life no longer matters. i talk to 2 people and neither are real. life is hose. there’s a pill over there with yellow pants on and it calls me a slut behind my back. my monitor flashes pink and shakes, and i can’t read cds in my new drive and it tore up one.a girl online said i was cute but the picture is flattering or fattering maybe and she is a film student who likes american psycho and clockwork orange. she was nice to talk to. i watched the nutty professor 2 and wanted to be him. to experience love. love is.. that unnattainable thing, always out of reach and yet we pursue it in hopes it will complete us and make all the bad things disappear or seem less important. most of us never find it. and if we perchance happen upon it, we may not see it, and just pass it by, becuz it has a big nose or yellow teeth or hair in inopportune places. it pains me to know these things. i believe i have thrown away one love and made up another that will never exist. i’ve doomed myself to a life of heartache and i will continue to do so until my fragile body decides to give in.