oh man did i call this or what. it’s really an odd thing, knowing what you’re doing is wrong and yet you continue to do it. i’m sure you can relate cj. anyway i’m sure all of this is for the best for you and joanna, all i ever did was drag you down with my talk of death and suicide attempts, but now at least i don’t have to worry about either of you being saddened or whatever when i do do it. i mean really, now, what do i have left? no friends, no family, all i have is a job i am not very good at and a mediocre apartment in a shitty neighborhood. as the great and powerful cj once said, “i know your shy ass isn’t gonna make any new friends” and indeed i won’t. but let me reassure you all, that none of this is your fault and i am not trying to “put it on you”. i’m playing a game, where winning is losing and losing is winning. my game backfired on me, but i must see it to the bitter end. with that i bid farewell, since i’m about to pass out from the massive amounts of cold medicine i have been taking to ease the pain. don’t worry yourself with that little ones.i only wish to ease your suffering that i have caused. or am i presuming too much? hahaha i wonder if you will pick up on that subtle sarcasm. behold the true form, my skin is shed and i am displaying the asshole that i have always been in all it’s glory. love me! take my shit!! accept my hollow apologies and make them true for your own sake! look past the arrogance and insults for the person you think might be hiding underneath but i assure you there is none. all that has survived this apocalypse is hate and utter contempt for human life. i am the embodyment of patrick bateman in a body that matches how ugly his personality was. and so now i am faced with that burning question, should i kill to give my life some meaning? some sense that i have affected another person? i can’t continue this way. something must change. when opportunity knocks, you better believe i’ll be there to answer. hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate