where the hell can i buy some fanta?? i went to holland, it was everywhere. they mix very good drinks with it. here, in the good ol usa, i can’t find any or even a decent substitute. i ask myself, MY GOD WHY??

i like it. but my lip is busted, i got hit in the face by a couch. work is going ok, bobbi’s computer is broken.
i have a couch and chair now. eventually i will have to leave. i stapled myself in the finger. work is… different. i don’t know how to deal with this freedom. […]

here’s last night’s dream:
it started off with me being carter from ER, and i was in a supermarket with the receptionist jerry and the asian doctor (can’t remember her name) a woman had choked on a piece of gum and they were trying to help her. they had someone on the phone walking them thru […]

i’m convinced that my dreams are actually an alternate world where i am great and others are looked down upon. i want to live there. how can i go about accomplishing this? what would be, something like, an eternal sleep? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM i’m cold. and i am getting goose bumps. i miss my friends so much, […]

the new job is going ok.. i’m having trouble adjusting, since it takes me so long to get used to a new environment. and i think i’m going to have problems, since i am not too great at you know.. talking. heh. but oh well, i’ll get over it.
bobbi, for some reason, seems to have […]

well had yet another weird dream where i couldn’t remember the beginning.
i was walking around in this big stone castle with someone, and we go into this open courtyard type thing with 3 doors, the other person walks back thru the door but then these steel walls close over them and i’m trapped. before that […]

the upgrade went very well. i’m now running at 1.333ghz. so here’s a quick update as to what’s been going on:
today was my last day at the library. starting monday i report to the IT trailer.. i’m excited, it’s hopefully gonna be a good thing.
cj and i are speaking again. it was a whole big […]

i won’t be updating for a couple days. i am going to be upgrading/reinstalling my computer so i’ll be offline for a little while. for those curious among you, i am upgrading from a ka7-100 w/ slot-a athlon 700 to a kt7a-raid w/ socket-a athlon 1.333ghz 266 fsb

well.. the friendship with cj and subsequently with floris and joanna is over. without going into too much detail, cj is mistakingly under the impression that i have been telling joanna word for word all his deep dark secrets. he says i stabbed him in the back blah blah blah. which is absurd, since he […]

alright so here’s whats been going on lately… i got into an email argument with mom the other day over what she’s doing with this guy tom. as usual she turned it on me, concentrating on my problems and faults and completely disregarding the subject of the arguement. she didn’t think what she is doing […]

i’m formatting and reinstalling win2k again tonight, making this the 3rd time in as many days. i’m having all kinds of problems with usb and acpi… ahhhhhhhh
anyway if anyone i talk to reads this, know that that is why i’m not online. :)

man i swear i sometimes really think i have serious mental problems… listen to this dream i had last night:
i can’t remember exactly how it started, but i was some rich guy, and i had 3 kids. a threat had been made on the 3 kids lives, so i rush home to tell them about […]

i got my hair cut today :) since my webcam is acting up, here’s a pic:

anyway i’m going to bed.. big update tomorrow.

i can’t remember the middle one but the other 2 were pretty weird:
it was late at night and i was watching the news and they were talking about a preacher who had been killed. then me and someone i don’t know but who i seemed to know in the dream drove over there in cj’s […]

i feel so much anger and hatred lately. towards pretty much everything. it’s like every aspect of my life and those lives related to me are completely fucked. completely dysfunctional. completely not what i would want. and i don’t have the force of will or energy to do anything about it. i’m content to sit […]

is it considered adultery if your marriage is over, but the divorce hasn’t been finalized? i can’t believe she moved from one drunk redneck to another this quickly. i need to get the fuck out of here…

been changing things around, and working on different things, but i think it’s coming along nicely. the only thing i have left that i really want to implement is having the calendar show what days have posts.. and have that in an iframe for ie, regular for the rest. eh.

myra is getting on my nerves like crazy… she’s so slow in the head it’s not even funny, but aside from that, she has to ask me “who was that?” every time the phone rings, or “what’s that?” for pretty much everything else that happens. it’s enfuriating. i hit her in the face with a […]

had this dream back in october.. prolly one of the most disturbing i’ve ever had:
“me cj and joanna were out and i was hungry so i went to subway but the subway place was my godmother’s house except work had been done to it, the backyard was gone and so was the kitchen and back […]

changed some cookie config stuff to assign dynamic hosts, since they seem to have blocked access to jrsmith.net here at work. so far so good :)

i couldn’t sleep, so i just redid the site again in like 2 hours. there are prolly bugs, but i’m sleepy now so i’ll fix them tomorrow.

well let’s see… over the past week or two, a lot of stuff has happened… christine was out all last week for surgery/recovery, so i was sorta running the library, that by itself was crazy but i also had this offer from john on my mind.. i want to take it, but i am also […]

well the new design is up, for the most part. still tweaking a little. when it’s done i’ll be posting a nice recap of what’s been going on over the past week or so. also, be sure to check out the webcam section. i bought a sweet new cam, and am making full use of […]